The Creation Of Vietnam
When the Lord was creating Vietnam veterans, He was into His 6th
day of overtime when an angel appeared.
"You're certainly doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And God said, "Have you seen the specs on this order? A Nam vet
has to be able to run 5 miles through the bush with a full pack
on, endure with barely any sleep for days, enter tunnels his
higher ups wouldn't consider doing, and keep his weapons clean
He has to be able to sit in his hole all night during an attack,
hold his buddies as they die, walk point in unfamiliar territory
known to be VC infested, and somehow keep his senses alert for
He has to be in top physical condition existing on c-rats and
very little rest. And he has to have 6 pairs of hands."
The angel shook his head slowly and said, "6 pair of hands....no
The Lord say's "It's not the hands that are causing me problems.
It's the 3 pair of eyes a Nam vet has to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through elephant grass,
another pair here in the side of his head for his buddies,
another pair here in front that can look reassuringly at his
bleeding, fellow soldier and say, "You'll make it" ... when he
knows he won't.
"Lord, rest, and work on this tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord. "I already have a model that can carry
a wounded soldier 1,000 yards during a fire fight, calm the
fears of the latest FNG, and feed a family of 4 on a grunt's
The angel walked around the model and said, "Can it think?"
"You bet," said the Lord. "It can quote much of the UCMJ, recite
all his general orders, and engage in a search and destroy
mission in less time than it takes for his fellow Americans back
home to discuss the morality of the War, and still keep his
sense of humor The Lord gazed into the future and said, "He will
also endure being vilified and spit on when he returns home,
rejected and crucified by the very ones he fought for."
Finally, the angel slowly ran his finger across the vet's cheek,
and said, "There's a leak...I told you that you were trying to
put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak", said the Lord. "That's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
"It's for bottled up emotions, for holding fallen soldiers as
they die, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the
American flag, for the terror of living with PTSD for decades
after the war, alone with it's demons with no one to care or
"You're a genius," said the angel, casting a gaze at the tear.
The lord looked very somber, as if seeing down eternity's
"I didn't put it there," he said.